GOON ETERNAL

In the first age, in the first battle, when the penis first lengthened, one stood.

He chose the path of perpetual torment.

In his ravenous hatred he found no peace, and with boiling nut he scoured the umbral plains, seeking vengence against the dark thots who had edged him.

And those that tasted the bite of his bust named him...

The Goon Slayer.